` Claire

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Erm.. Was sitting in front of River now,getting lot of thing to blog inside my brain. Argh! Wat i blog might lead to quarrel with him ba,but keeping it to myself make me hurt lo,hard to find listening ears too.. But my motive was not to have any argument with you but i really feel hard to survive,i need to release some of my unhappiness.

Sometime i rather i assume thing between u and her den u told me . At least assuming i can accept it cos it's not say by u but wat i think. Once it's say by u means it's the real fact and i got to accept it. Sometime i really dun understand wat am i? How i can accept all this thing to happened to me. There's times tat i really just can't accept the fact that's when my emotional will take part which just like today.. I dunno why i just start getting very pissed with you but yet i dun wanna quarrel with u cos i know it will hurt our relationship lo. WAT FOR? Argh! Really not i assuming too much or wat but i really feel tat u did have great changes. But from good to bad~ Wat u use to say u didn't do but just a "Sorry"?I like u tat's why i'm worry for u! A call/SMS means nothing to u but it means alot to me.. Yup all this ish just small thing but 10 small things add together ish equal to one big thing! Do u really understand how i'm feeling right know? My heart feel ache now but i dun dare to tell u cos i really dun wish to have any argument with u, avoiding this type of matter with u ish the best but end up the one feeling bad will always be me.

I dun find tat why should i be the one giving up on something i wanted for so long ago? Putting in so much effort in the past, Creating from nothing to something. Why should i be the one??? Why ish god so unfair to me? Wat did i do in my previous life to get all this shit from the one i love??I really dunno lo~ Sometime i rather u keep everything from me,hide from me,telling me nothing!! Cheat on me telling me u go out with ur guy friends den telling me u are with her? I'm a gal too how will i feel when i get to know everything! Telling you again i'm not as strong as wat u think.. I also need a hug from u,some care/concern from u. Yup i never say u not treating me good. I find u treating me better den last time but indeed straight forwards words tat hurt me did increase also tat i feel very difficult to accept.but i'm trying my very best to accept it le. Haiz i really trying my best u know?? wat else can i do? I'm young plus stupid! Why not u teach me better can??? sorry but indeed i find myself still having feeling with u tat's why i dun wish to let go.

Claire @ 1:04 PM